i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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