BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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