You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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