i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
