i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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