Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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