WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
