I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
