You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize