New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
