First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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