she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
