so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
