roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
