when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
