Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
