you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
