apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
