HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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