Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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