For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
