I wish I could teleport
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
As shirtless as possible
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
