I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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