3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
