I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
