my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
