So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
