Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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