Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
