I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
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