chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize