READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You took a bar mat shot.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize