Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
