thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
