Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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