she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You are the jesus of drinking
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
