Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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