i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
