So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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