Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
