No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
