i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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