Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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