So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
