either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Randomize
