I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I am morally bankrupt
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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