seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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