Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
