the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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