I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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