I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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