I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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