I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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