Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Randomize
