I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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