Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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