It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
