my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
