If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
